Week 2 - Learning From Past Mistakes

I was recently asked how this time will differ from the many that have come before. The answers themselves are simple, but placing them into practice have proven to be quite difficult. I feel I've tried every diet plan / workout regimen / miracle cure available, and though that may not be entirely true, I now have a fairly good grasp of what works for me and what doesn't. I have been successful at losing weight in the past, but adhering to the plan(s) seem to be the issue. After the initial excitement has subsided, it becomes difficult to cement these new habits as permanent fixtures of daily life. Whether it's following a strict eating plan or hammering out a daily workout routine, the disconnect occurs when you realize that this has to continue forever. That's a long time, and there's no way that you're going to find 2 hours a day to hit the gym, or be restricted to leafy greens for the remainder of your days. My previous solutions were to gradually phase out these good habits and completely replace them with my old ones, much like the other 90% of the overweight populous that just can't seem to keep the weight off once it's gone. So the cycle continued, trying something new that worked for a while, and then back to the old ways. The secret to my success may lie in the knowledge that I've gained over all of this heartbreaking trail and error. I've tended to be an "all or nothing" type of person, obsessing about food portions and forcing myself on the treadmill on a daily basis. What I need to do is strike a perfect balance between proper eating and staying active, again much easier said than done. Now that winter is in full swing, I'm able to vary my cardio by going for a skate outside to compliment my weekly hockey games. A day away from the treadmill, yet still getting a fun workout, almost feels like a day off. As for the food issue, I'm still struggling to find that balance between health, variety and being satisfied with my meals. Too much of the same food can be just as uninspiring as running in place for days on end, so I try to experience something different on a weekly basis. Variety is the spice of life.

I haven't really been privy to a comment about my weight for a while now. Perhaps they've slipped by unheard, or I've remained oblivious, but I can't recall the last. Recently, someone at work made light of my size, and as hundreds of comments rocketed through my head to venomously spit back in their direction, I decided to take the high road and leave them be. The context of the jab was along the lines of, "we won't be taking you out for food or anything, that would be out of the budget", and while I'm sure the person launching that barb thought nothing of it, it truthfully bothered me. It hasn't affected me in a positive or negative way regarding my eating or activity, and I'm taking that as a good thing. I'll file it away as small amount of extra motivation to succeed, but this person likely isn't worth the time or storage space.

Over the course of the week I've been able to vary my workouts enough to keep me active on a daily basis. The treadmill actually broke down mid-stride on one evening, leaving me to clumsily fumble around, trying to find the source of the problem as my heart was throttling away at the peak of its limits. A frustrating time, but level heads prevailed the next day, and it's ready for the next stationary adventure. In the interim, I tried to head outside for a skate, but it's been unseasonably warm, the ice was in poor shape. I did my best to get my heart racing, and I spent more time dodging potholes than in full stride. Either way, the fact remains that there's more options available than just "the hamster wheel", and I'm not going to restrict myself to any one exercise.

Underway into another attempt at losing the weight, and it feels right this time. Not forced at all, not having to psych myself up for physical activity, or psych myself out of eating a variety of good food. Is this the last arc in the story? The Final Chapter? I'm not going say yes or no, but I'll do all that I can to ensure that it just may be.

Happy Non-Denominational Winter Holiday to all, and to all a good night!

Week 1 - New Beginnings

The title is not a typo. I've taken some time to re-evaluate all that has happened over the past three months and file it away as a life experience. A great experience. I've made new friends, met people with similar goals and dreams, and inspired others to pick up the crusade for healthier living and fitness. In doing so, however, I lost sight of my own purpose, my own focus. As I began to document my most recent struggles, the same people I'd initially inspired reached out to me, offering advice that struck a striking similarity to the words I had spoken to them only a few months prior. It was a much needed wake-up call. Family and friends alike, extending a helping hand to get me back on my feet, a reminder that there's always hope, always another chance to try again. It turns out that I wasn't yet mentally prepared to deal with the ever-mounting challenges, my over-analytical nature choosing to create mountains out of molehills. My mind began to sabotage itself into thinking that not only did I not want to do this, but that I was no longer capable. It was as if I drifted away from the reality of the situation to hide from the world. Having made my issues public, however, didn't allow that mindset to fully grab a hold of me. There was nowhere for me to hide from the barrage of support from family, friends, and loyal readers, and for that I am eternally grateful.

I had discovered that I was putting FAR too much pressure on myself to not fail, rather than focusing on being successful. Negative thinking greatly hinders achieving a positive outcome, and I was getting down on myself for every misstep that was being made. It got to the point where I wouldn't even try anymore, because I had already defeated myself in my mind. I had forgotten that I actually enjoy being active and exercising, because I'd convinced myself it was just too difficult, and I shouldn't bother since I'd be much happier just lying on the couch for the evening. I needed to inspire myself again, this time I've enlisted the help of some people.

I found that I'm best motivated when I'm being pushed by an outside source. A competitor, a competition. Firstly, I'll start with the friendly competition. Someone I've met through my writings is nearing the homestretch, and we've put our pride on the line. I'm sure by the time of this writing he's likely surpassed me, but we're approximately the same weight (though he's taller than me), and we have very similar goals. We'll both be running in the Manitoba Marathon this summer (likely the 1/2 again for me), and we would both like to weigh around the same when the loss finally settles on a number. Check out his blog here, he's a great inspiration.

Secondly, some contests with more on the line than just getting healthy. My lovely wife has agreed to tackle her own demons and fully make this a family affair, involving the two of us. The premise is simple, whoever between the two of us can lose the highest percentage of weight by February 3rd, 2008 will emerge victorious. No need to discuss the finer details of the prizes here, but let's just say that I'm VERY motivated to win. Actually, let's say I don't much care for ballet and leave it at that. After the final day passes, we'll begin yet another round of competition with similar rules. It's always much easier to stay motivated when you're competing with a loved one in the same household. And as an offshoot, I've got a side bet with another friend with the same rules and regulations attached. Thankfully there's no ballet trip on the line, but the stakes are still high enough to keep me honest. I'm trying to get my brother involved, and my wife and I are considering getting a group of people together for the next round. It's a lot of fun so far, and I think immersing even more people would be great.

So that's about it for now, starting over again has never felt so good.