Day 31-35 - Take Two Bites When One Will Do

One month behind me, and nearly 10 pounds lighter. Even though it feels like I've been at a standstill as of late, the overall numbers don't lie. I'm still heading in the right direction, but I would like to see some lower numbers on that scale in the coming weeks. Some reward for the effort that I'm putting forth. My clothing is a little looser, my belt a notch tighter, and my wedding band is feeling a little more free around my finger. I had my ring sized around this weight during the last weight-loss attempt, and it once again fits as it should. The scale seems to be crawling along, hovering, wanting to once again breach the 250 mark. It's not from a lack of effort. I'm keeping active, and my intake has been steady and honest. My fitness has improved, and I feel better on my skates with yet another game behind me. I have to practice what I preach; patience will pay.

I've learned many valuable lessons over the past month. Though some may seem like "common sense", I've generally found that "common sense" isn't all that common. For example, chewing your food prior to swallowing it. Sounds simple enough, right? I seem to have been bred to eat in a panic. Growing up, our dinner table meetings were usually brief and intense. A well-cared for and lovingly prepared meal would be obliterated in mere minutes, equivalent to a school of maniacal pirahnas viciously attacking their unsuspecting prey. The ratio of preparation time to the time taken for consumption could easily have been 8:1 or even 12:1, absurd numbers. This is something I never really thought of, even when we had company over. The four of us would always finish our meals well ahead of the competition, however there were no medals to be awarded for this feat. Just heartburn. Now as an adult, being more aware of how the general public eats, I've had to try and adjust my eating habits accordingly. I've attended meals where I've been looking for the bill and my complimentary mint, while the other guests are savouring the fourth bite of their main course. Not only is it horrible etiquette and somewhat embarrassing, it's poor for digestion. I've been trying to make a conscious effort to slow down when I'm eating. I'd grown accustomed to scarfing down fistfuls of food at blinding speeds, and had to find a way to wean myself off this detrimental habit. I've started by doing something that seems very simple, but is a step overlooked by most "power eaters". Put down the fork between each bite. Very simple, yet very difficult. Don't hold the sandwich in your hands while you're chewing. Put it down after every bite, chew, swallow, THEN pick it up again. It seems so trivial, so easy to file under "common sense", but after nearly 30 years of "power eating", I'm finding it very hard to re-train myself. I'm combining that trick with taking smaller bites. What I used to consider one bite, is now two. The start of a meal is the critical moment to instill this practice. Many factors can turn the tide from logic to instinct when food is involved, so I must remain lucid through even the toughest of temptations.

Emotional hunger is overpowering. It's extraordinarly difficult to control, yet it must be stopped. I'm constantly trying to train myself to be less mentally attached to eating, but it's a very difficult process. It's even worse that I understand why it happens, but still feel overwhelmed when I have the "need to feed". I'm constantly at war with my emotions and my mind, knowing that my mouth and brain crave something my body doesn't require. There have been times where I've finished a meal, and while staring down at the empty plate, I don't remember having lifted my fork. Sitting down with a bag of cookies or chips, and not long afterward it's been completely emptied. In minutes, this robotic, automated style of eating has put away thousands of calories, and for what purpose? I'm relentlessly reminding myself that I eat to feed my body, not for fun, and I hope I can continue to follow my own advice. Soon enough that scale will dip into the 240's, and I'll cinch my belt one notch tighter.